February 12, 2020
Recently I started thinking about the Moms I’ve known, who lost a child years before I did. And I suddenly realized how amazing they were for just surviving!
The first Mom that popped into my mind, was the Mom of a fifth grade classmate of mine. He tragically died of an accidental shooting back in 1960 something. One day after he passed, his Mom came to visit our class, probably to gather her son’s belongings. She had another eightish year old son who also attended our school, and a toddler daughter who accompanied her that day. All of us girls flocked around her to support her in her grief. None of us however had a clue what that poor Mom was going through. However, I remember thinking even as a ten year old, how strong she was!
Fast forward to my thirties in 1990. One of my favorite aunt’s who lived in New York state, lost one of her son’s to a terrible illness. He was only in his mid-thirties. He was one of my favorite cousins also. He was a sweet, caring, handsome young man. I couldn’t attend his funeral, because I was packing up our house in the Lehigh Valley, which we had just sold, and preparing to move back to NEPA with my husband and two young son’s, which were five and ten at the time. I so worried for her! Yet she too seemed so strong at the time.
Lastly, there was my mother in law. She was a tough cookie, and quite frankly not always the easiest to get along with. Yet in her defense, she lost her husband when she was forty eight, her youngest son to suicide when she was in her fifties, and finally her oldest grandson, my oldest son , when she was in her seventies. Yet somehow she too, found a way to survive. For that I will always admire her!
Since my son died in 2000, other friends and acquaintances have also lost a child. Yet somehow hopefully, they too will survive.
I guess the point of this pondering is that, before my son died, I had no understanding of how amazing these women were. What warriors they were! Now I know. My respect goes out to all of them, and all the others I know who joined this unfortunate band of women. My love, thoughts and prayers will be with them until I take my last breath.